The 10 Walt Disney World Commandments
As a Disney fan, I feel like it’s my duty to share with you an immense discovery that I just learned of myself. This is the type of stuff that’ll change the way you go about your entire Disney World experience. From a super-secret (totally true) source, I learned that years ago, a Disney cast member was finishing his shift after a long day at the Magic Kingdom when he heard a strange voice. The voice beckoned him up to the top of the great Mt. Splash and when he returned, he returned with two stone tablets. The tablets were inscribed with wise words that detailed how park guests could best enjoy their Disney World experience while making the experience magical for others. These words would forever be known as the Ten Walt Disney World Commandments and it’s my honor to share them with all of you here today. Remember to keep these words in mind and you’ll be sure to have an amazing Walt Disney World Vacation.
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Thou shalt start each day of your vacation with Stacey.
C’mon. You can watch the news or SportsCenter any day at home while you get ready. How often do you get the chance to watch Stacey do the must do’s while simultaneously getting yourself even more excited for the day to come? Do the right thing. Start your morning with Stacey on your screen. Every morning.
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Thou shalt not use a Disney Dining Plan snack credit on bottled water.
If you’re on the Disney Dining Plan, that snack credit can do some real damage if you’re looking to get a substantial treat. Whether it’s a Starring Rolls cupcake at Hollywood Studios or an ice cream cookie sandwich from Sleepy Hollow in Magic Kingdom, you can really earn your value on a snack credit. Plus, if you’re really that thirsty, just go to any counter service establishment and ask for a cup for water. No need to waste those precious Dining credits.
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Thou shalt “Treat. Yo. Self.”
You want those Mickey Ears? Treat yoself. Dole Whip calling your name? Treat yoself. You’re on vacation in one of the most amazing places on Earth. I’m not saying break the bank and spring for a Polynesian bungalow every time you stay but it’s nice to get yourself a little something extra every now and then. Plus, you’re on vacation. You deserve it.
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Thou shalt not take the name of thy Entertainer Sonny Eclipse in vain.
Sonny Eclipse has been entertaining guests for years at Cosmic Ray’s Starlight Café. He’s the hardest working man in show business and I will not have his good name sullied. If you can’t enjoy corny jokes and some of the best music Tomorrowland has to offer, I feel sorry for you. Sonny Eclipse is a treasure and we should all give him the respect he deserves.
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Remember the Sabbath day, to avoid the Magic Kingdom crowds.
Weekends are busy at the House that the Mouse Built™. If it’s your only day that you can do Magic Kingdom, you gotta do what you gotta do but if you’re on a longer trip, maybe head over to Hollywood Studios. Seriously, please go to Hollywood Studios. It’s lonely and Star Wars won’t be there for quite a while. (Ed – Nearly every day at Disney World is “busy” by real-life standards, and weekends aren’t always less busy at Hollywood Studios; luckily, I know a great Crowd Calendar you can use!)
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Thou shalt not finish the skippers’ jokes on Jungle Cruise.
If you’re the person that likes to finish all the skippers’ jokes on Jungle Cruise, congratulations! You’re a fun ruiner. You probably also talk during movies and heckle comedians. Listen, I get it: Jungle Cruise is great and you’ve done it a million times but you know who hasn’t? Little Johnny First Timer. Johnny doesn’t know what the backside of water looks like and I think he should experience this life changing wonder without any spoilers.
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Thou shalt come to terms with the fact that you cannot do everything.
No matter how long you go to Disney for or how many times you’ve been, it’s practically impossible to do everything. When you come to that realization, you’ll definitely be able to relax and enjoy your trip more. Sure you might not have gotten to ride that one last attraction but you know what? There’s always next time. Look on the bright side. You just gave yourself one more reason to book your next trip when you get home. That’s called “incentive.”
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Thou shalt not use a stroller as a weapon.
I know they do bag checks at the gates but the real weapons are simply able to be rented once inside. You ever walk down Main Street having a great time, just loving life then all of a sudden you feel your ankle get smashed with the force of a thousand exploding suns? It’s scientifically proven that a shot to the ankles with a double barreled stroller is a nine out of ten on the pain index. I understand strollers are a god send to many parkgoers but please remember where you’re pointing that thing. With great power comes great responsibility.
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Thou shalt nap.
Your chances of hitting rope drop and making it all the way through Extra Magic Hours in the same day become exponentially more likely with a well-placed nap. Also, for the summer in particular, this provides an excellent opportunity to refresh, shower and get changed so you’re ready to go for the evening. Of course, this is probably only relevant to those guests staying at a Disney resort. For all you off-property visitors, don’t blame me. The Commandments work in mysterious ways.
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Remember to cherish each and every moment of your Walt Disney World vacation.
To end on a more serious note, I can’t count the number of times where I’ll be on the Magical Express to my resort and before I know it I’m flying home. Disney trips go by in the blink of an eye, which is a good thing! It means you had fun. Still, try to just take a moment each day and appreciate where you are. Whether it’s a quiet walk in the morning to get coffee from your hotel room to the lobby or a short sit on a bench in the Magic Kingdom hub, just take a moment to take all the sights and sounds of Disney World in and let it all sink in. The quieter and more introspective moments at Disney World may be few and far between but they’re great for remembering why you love coming here in the first place.
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“Of course, this is probably only relevant to those guests staying at a Disney resort. For all you off-property visitors, don’t blame me. ”
Ummm, why, exactly? We stay offsite an always go back for about 3 hours (total trip time) to relax in the pool. It’s really not more than 1/2 hour each way… maybe less. We generally get to the parks between rope drop and an hour after rope drop, stay till 2-3, then go back to the condo until between 5-6, at which point we head to an ADR or just back to the parks until after fireworks.
How about line jumping / skipping ahead in line? Would love a blog piece on dealing with difficult situations at WDW – like the aforementioned flash photography and of course line jumping. I’m “too nice” sometimes and want to avoid a “road rage” situation.
#11 – Thou shalt wait thy turn.
Open Disneyland Brazil and give us wdw back
#12 go to Universal and skip the drama 😉
BOTH sides of every order taker at counter service restaurants are open to take orders. Just because there are ten people to the left of a cast member and zero to the right doesn’t mean I have to line up behind everyone. The right side is open as well.
#11 Don’t be a padhole, holding up your fraking iPad like Rafiki holding up Simba during ANYTHING, especially dark rides. There are 32 million videos on Youtube of every attraction already, you’re just annoying everyone else.
Of all the commandments, yours is the one that made my husband laugh. Thank you and we agree. 🙂
If we are calling out strollers in number 8 I think we should call out by far the more dangerous weapon-the ecv scooter. I’ve seen children run into by scooters.
Ever since Sonny Eclipse went mainstream, he has really lost his touch. Signing a deal with a major record label has really changed the way he writes his songs and mainly his ability to connect with the common man. If only he went back to playing his old songs, and avoided that new hogwash he has put out since the 2000’s then it would be ok. Not worthy of his own Commandment IMO.
I’d like to add, “Thou shalt not take flash photos on dark rides.” Somewhere out there someone has a flash photo from it’s a small world with our party looking very angry. We were in the back row and a parent kept turning around to take flash photos of their kids, sitting in the row in front of us. By the 5th time of getting blinded, we were pretty peeved!
This would be number 1 on my list. No flash photos and no glaring phone screens on dark rides. I just cannot believe how oblivious and selfish some people are. I may once have broken commandment 8 against a jerk who ruined my Haunted Mansion ride by never turning off his bright phone screen. I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but…..
Oh, god, yes.
Yes!!!!!! This past week people were taking flash pictures on everything! In shows too! On Under the seas, we were in between two clam shells where the people on each side of us were taking pictures of eachother because I guess that got separated, each time the shells turned. And the grandfather had the nerve to glare at me for giving his wife dirty looks.
This is absolutely my number one pet peeve at Disney. I try not to let it ruin a good time….but….sometimes I just can’t help it. It always takes a few seconds for my eyes to readjust to the dark. Then there’s always the “I just HAVE to have a selfie of ME to share with my adoring world” crowd. Gag me with a fork.
Commandment 6a – Let the Ghost Host Speak
I’ve found that people can’t help themselves and want to join in with his spiel in the stretching room. Please stop.
Commandment number 11- Thou shalt wear deoderant.
Once I ruined a skipper’s punchline, and to my great delight, he simply switched to an even better punchline for the joke that I’d never heard before. So…sometimes, if you play your cards right, I think it’s possible to nudge a better spiel out of some skippers. I don’t really care about Johnny First Timer. He’s probably not going to get it anyway, especially because he’s probably on his parents’ iPhone. I want to see if I can get a good improvising skipper, and I feel like they’re more likely to if they know someone on the boat can tell if they’re phoning it in.
i pretty much love this, and it could not have come at a better time, as we leave this afternoon on our epic road trip to WDW. The Stacy commandment in particular made me snort – my kids always put her on in the morning when we’re there! Sharing this link with the others in our party of 9 this year!
LOL excellent blog post. Thank you. You have made my morning. You had me at Treat Yo Self 🙂
Forgive me Disney for I have sinned. It’s probably the worst one too. Sitting right next to the skipper I just blurted out one of the punchlines. I immediately realized what I did and couldn’t apologize to the skipper enough.
Love the Stroller commandment! I was as so surprised that you Do advise to take a nap. I never nap at Disney! I also never do Rope drop and Evening Extra Magic Hours, it one or the other.
Having just returned from a great 2 week trip I can recommend all of these except number 8. We had to get a stroller fro my 6 year old who could not handle all the walking. If people followed my suggested number 11 – Thou shalt not stop in the middle of Main Street suddenly to decide which way to splash mountain, then you would not experience number 8.
Sarah – so true!! Also learn which side of the street to walk down. I can’t stand people that walk right into oncoming traffic. It’s hard enough to get a stroller through crowds without hitting someone. Please don’t dart out in front of me like a deer.
Amen to that! I have been both with and without a stroller and I gotta say, while there are plenty of stroller offenders there are an equal number of strollerless folks who don’t know how to ‘drive’ while walking around the park. There were a number of times I ended up with a stroller handle smashing my stomach in an attempt to not take out someone’s ankles! A little courtesy on both sides will go a long way!
Yes! I vote for #11. If you need to check a map or chat with your group, please, please move to the side! This was a pet peeve of mine when I didn’t have to do the park with a stroller, and now that I do, it is an even bigger one. I feel absolutely horrible when I violate #8, but sometimes, your pain can be avoided if you’re a little more aware of your surroundings.
#8 should be #1. Every other day we see some “stroller Mom” pelting through the park like a bat out of hell, not caring at all if they run into you.
There really should be a roaming “stroller free day” at each park. One park out of the four for each day.
Yes, good idea. (insert sarcasm) Let’s ban families with small children from one park out of 4 each day at WALT DISNEY WORLD! Seriously. . .
lol. funnier without noting sarcasm. I feel you; reminds me of when people complain about noisy kids in the park and resort restaurants.
Folks, please remember that elderly people enjoy the parks, too. They move a little slower than others and may get confused and wander into your path a little easier and not be able to “get out of the way” as fast. My senior mother was clipped by a Stroller Commando one year who yelled at her to “get out of the way”. She had a swollen bruise the size of an egg. As she has osteoporosis, I guess she was lucky. She was embarrassed and reluctant to go to the parks the next day as she felt she couldn’t keep up with the crowds.
The best solution for all? Relax – it’s a vacation after all! Trust me, you’re never going to be able to see everything! (Wait – isn’t that a commandment?!?!)