What does Mickey call his home? A mouse pad. Who handles Br’er Rabbit’s money? Br’er Broker. How do you turn Epcot into the best park in Disney World? Turn 21. Now that I’ve clearly established my comedy expertise with these masterful jokes, I hope you’ll trust me to guide you through some of Walt Disney World’s Funniest Attractions. One of the words most often associated with Walt Disney World is “magical” but don’t be fooled. Disney World is host to a bevy of attractions that’ll have you laughing out loud. Of course, everyone has his own sense of humor, but if you’re a first time visitor or just happen to have never been on one of the following attractions, I hope this article will give you an idea of just what makes these attractions so funny. I may have only recently started doing stand-up but I’ve been laughing at Walt Disney World my entire life.
If you love “dad” jokes, you’re going to love Jungle Cruise. The attraction features a guided tour through the “jungle” and while you’ll see a bunch of animatronic animals along the way, I think the real appeal of the attraction is your skipper who provides some hilariously corny jokes. Like any attraction with different guides, your enjoyment will definitely hinge on how into it your cast member is. Some of the better ones will have both kids and adults of all ages in stitches by the end of your “six month cruise.” Also be sure to ride it at night and you might be lucky enough to get some jokes that are a little too “edgy” for the day crowds. For a more official new experience, go during the holidays when the whole attraction is re-themed to the Jingle Cruise.
I am a sick man . . . I am a chicken man. An unthrilled man. I think my liver hurts. As I desperately tried to dream up viable excuses to get me out of the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train queue and into the relative safety of Fantasyland, the most theoretical and intentional of all the lands of the Magic Kingdom, it occurred to me there was nothing to be done. My best excuses failed on my tongue; my apprehensions about the looming thrills of this new experience rendered me dull, sheep-like, and sadly unconvincing. My wife—excited for an opportunity to actually experience some of Disney World’s more exciting offerings for once—would hear none of it. I had a job to do, and to be honest, even I wasn’t persuaded by my pitiful excuse for excuses.
Chickens don’t fly you see, or at the very least they shouldn’t. Ask any chicken; you’ll get no argument from them. In fact, all you’ll get is a blank stare, as they will typically refuse to dignify such a question with any response. It’s not so much flight, however, that is the problem, as much as descent—rapid, gravity-enforced, stomach-churning descent. That is the problem. For I myself and my fine-feathered fellows suffer from an over-acute consciousness of inertia. The laws of nature give me offense, but only those times when my slight frame is cast violently against them. In my heart, I have never been a chicken, though I constantly turn chicken in reality when it comes to attractions of the so-called “thrilling” variety.
I hinted at it being true a while back, but today the Disney Parks Blog made it official: The Haunted Mansion will indeed receive a gift shop (finally!) in Magic Kingdom‘s Liberty Square. The store will be located right near the attraction, in the location of the Yankee Trader store, which closed for refurbishment today. (Bye bye, Smuckers jams and jellies!)
The new merchandise location is slated to open officially this fall, drawing inspiration from Madame Leota herself, and will include a whole slew of hauntingly good merchandise for Haunted Mansion fans to purchase. (On my next trip, if the majority of my money is going to be spent at the Marketplace Co-Op at Downtown Disney, the rest of it will now officially be spent here. Basically, bye bye money.) It’s been heavily rumored that this new store will also feature an on-ride photo pickup location.
While Disney didn’t announce an official reopening date, it is expected that the new store will debut on October 1, just in time for Halloween!
The scariest ride… ever?! No drops on this ride, but what if you get stuck? That song… forever?!
Many times, when people talk about planning a trip to Walt Disney World, and more specifically Magic Kingdom, the talk quickly turns to the attractions that are the most exciting. These attractions are generally the ones that have height restrictions, with required restraints to keep you in the vehicle.
As a self-professed ride chicken, there’s a lot of things that give me pause at Disney World: attractions that are so mind-bogglingly scary, I’m not sure how anyone is brave enough to attempt them.
With that being said, there are far more attractions that even ride chickens can handle. There’s obviously a variety of reasons people do not like certain attractions, and for a long time I just assumed my fear was roller coasters. While I still cannot ride huge coasters, I have since realized that I actually can’t handle changing altitudes quickly.
This leaves out most of the flume-style rides, as well as the larger coasters.
Hi, Everyone! Welcome to the Best Week Ever here at Walt Disney World! This week we’ll be visiting the Magic Kingdom to check out progress on all the renovations there then heading over to Downtown Disney to see what’s new. We’ve got a lot to cover so let’s get started with a sunny Saturday morning at Cinderella’s Castle. It looks like it isn’t that crowded from the photo but when I arrived at the gates at 8:45am they’d already started letting people in the park. I knew there was no way I’d get to Seven Dwarfs Mine Train without a long wait so I took my time wandering into the park.
It’s been a while since we’ve been shopping so I stopped into the Emporium. This early in the morning you can see how empty it is in there. You can also hear a bird that flew into the shop and was hanging out!
I also encountered a few of my favorite things on Main Street….
As the sun rises over Walt Disney World, prepare yourself to beat the heat
Though it’s no secret that Florida summers can be hotter than the surface of the sun, it’s also one of Walt Disney World’s busiest seasons. There’s no way to avoid the high temperatures, but there are some things you can do to plan for hot fun in the summertime. As a follow up to TouringPlan’s previous Disney World summer tips, here are some additional ideas to keep you cool in the kingdom!
Staying on property during your next Walt Disney World vacation? Then you should absolutely be taking advantage of Disney’s Extra Magic Hours, which offer resort guests the opportunity to get to a park early or stay late. Simply show that you’re staying in a Walt Disney World resort and you can have fun in the parks beyond the normal operating hours. And if you’re using our Personalized Touring Plans, you can also extend your plan hours for both morning and evening Extra Magic Hours. As stated, Extra Magic Hours are offered both in the morning and the evening but for now we’re going to concentrate on some of my favorite Evening Extra Magic Hours attractions. While not every attraction is operating for Extra Magic Hours, some of the best and most popular attractions across Magic Kingdom, Epcot and Disney’s Hollywood Studios are open to resort guests. Unfortunately, as of this writing, Disney’s Animal Kingdom does not offer evening extra magic hours. Perhaps that could change with the eventual opening of the park’s new Avatar Land but for now, park guests will have to get their Extra Magic Hours fill at the first three Walt Disney World theme parks. So without further ado, here are my top Evening Extra Magic Hours attractions for each park.
Have you ever tried to watch a movie without a soundtrack? I have watched behind-the-scenes documentaries of movies and TV shows where they show a dramatic scene or huge action sequence, and it sounds…well…dull. But once that soundtrack is inserted, with the ebbs and flows matching the feelings and actions on screen, suddenly the scene pops!
With this in mind, can you imagine walking down the streets of Magic Kingdom park in Walt Disney World without any of that music coming out of the speakers? Maybe you’ve never really paid attention to the atmospheric soundtrack, but that music subliminally creeps into your psyche and gears you up for wherever your feet take you!
If there was no music, the only thing you’d hear is the noisy people around you. And let’s be honest: anything that helps keep your mind off of the loud discussions, crying, or crabbiness surrounding you and keeps you in your “magic zone” is a welcome one!
When Disney Imagineer Bob Jani looked out over Seven Seas Lagoon at night he saw a black gulf, void of interest. It was late 1971 and Magic Kingdom, Polynesian Resort, and Contemporary Resort opened soon. The lifeless lagoon, formed from draining the swamp that dominated the land Magic Kingdom occupies, would presently be filled by ferries and water attractions, including a water ski show. But something was missing. His mind turned to his hometown of Los Angeles, where any body of water reflected myriad lights every night. Somewhere this need to fill the dark with twinkling lights sparked the idea of the Electrical Water Pageant: a train of barges sporting colorful animated lights.
The final float in the aquatic scene.
A brochure given to guests in the Summer of 1972 entices the guest to “watch porpoises leap . . . seals play . . . even a sea monster breathe fire!” Guests were directed to see the Pageant nightly 9:00 PM through 10:00 PM along Bay Lake and the Seven Seas Lagoon, advice that is still good today. The whimsical attraction’s appeal eventually inspired the Main Street Electrical Parade — even copping the song “Baroque Hoedown” as its theme.
Today the Pageant is one thousand feet long and features 25-foot tall screens on fourteen barges. The show is split into two parts: an aquatic theme featuring King Triton and various sea creatures followed by a patriotic salute. Total time, nose to tail, is about ten minutes.
There are many reasons why the Disney Parks stand apart from other theme parks around the world, but one of the biggest has to be Disney’s incredible attention to detail. You can see the extra mile in the form of details just about everywhere on Disney property, from attractions to parade costumes to resorts to transportation to even the bathrooms! Personally, I love the details. They are not only appealing to the eye and fun to find, but almost always meaningful to the history of an attraction or to the story the Imagineers are trying to tell. My favorite place to look for details has to be Walt Disney World’s original park; and so for today, I’m going to zero in on just a few details that most guests miss when visiting the park. Take a look at the hidden details of the Magic Kingdom!
Please welcome Savannah Sanders to the TouringPlans blog team. Savannah’s first trip to Walt Disney World was as an infant. When she’s not traveling to the parks, Savannah teaches high school history, which explains her particular expertise in the details (historic and not) of the theme parks.
Walt Disney window over The Plaza Restaurant.
There are actually two windows on Main Street, U.S.A., that bear Walt Disney’s name. The first can be found on the train station facing the entrance. You can see it when passing through the turnstiles. The other can be found above The Plaza Restaurant, facing Cinderella Castle. This detail is special as the window tributes begins and ends with Walt!